definitions of jeni

I am so happy. I’ve been thinking about so many things lately I hope I remember them all.

First of all, I am so glad I am a dancer. Dance has taught me so many things about life, I don’t know what I would be right now if I hadn’t had dance. It has defined me in so many ways. I just had my concert this last week, and I have learned so much with the pieces that were in there. I feel like I have really bonded with the people I dance with, and we have really become an ensemble. While on the stage last week, I was thinking about how much I love this. There may be times that I really seriously wonder why in the world I do this to myself, but then those days like the last few weeks come and it makes it all worth it. I am reminded of why I love dance so much, and how much it has helped me to learn and grow as a person. Who else has the privilege of doing what they love and growing, learning, and being inspired, on a daily basis? Yes it’s hard, but that is what makes it worth it all. I am so grateful that I have a healthy body and mind that enables me to dance.

Second of all, my mom. I love her. She does so much for me and our family it’s crazy. And she does it while working two jobs. She’s crazy. Pretty sure that without her, our family would be literally fall apart because she holds us all together. When I am a mother, I hope I will be like her.  She has supported me, and been there for me, and held me when I cried, and cried with me, (ok, not just crying, but bawling my head off…) and was happy for me, and laughed with me, and had screaming contests with me, and talked with me, and gave me advice, and told me stories, and pushed me even when I didn’t appreciate it, and told me it was going to all work out, and it always does, and is still continuing to do all that, and most of all loved me. Loved me for who my crazy, weird self is. And I love her. She’s my best friend.

Third of all, music. Music can reach a part of me that nothing else but dance can. It can touch and inspire me to do anything.

Fourth of all, Sarah. My cousin has kept me sane this past year, and I am so grateful for her. I had a hard year, and she was there with me almost every day. I am really sad to know that in just a few weeks, she will be gone. I hope someday we will be able to be this close again. She has also defined me this last year.

Fifth of all, my beautiful friends, Morgan and Kylie. I love you guys so much! I thank God every day that he put you guys in my life. Where would I be without you? We know each other’s everything, we can tell each other all, and everyone needs friends like that. Ever since you have known me (can you believe it’s seven years?!) you have defined me. I am who I am because of you. hahahaha, because if you hadn’t been there and decided to take pity on me, I would probably still be the girl who reads books while walking and walks into the boys bathroom J

Sixth of all, my daddy. I love him too. He works so hard. He is the one that let me dance all growing up, because without his hard work I wouldn’t have been able to. He saw and recognized that dance wasn’t something that I could give up without having a broken heart and he is the one who worked hard to let me live my dream. I don’t thank him enough for it. He stays so calm when I’m not, and goes to the store just to get my favorite ice cream when I cry so hard I can’t talk, and comes to every one of my dance performances, and loves to do it, and when I come out after gives me that look that says, I’m so proud of you and I love you, and gives me father’s blessings when I need them, and helps me fix my mistakes, and in whatever I decide to do tells me it will work out and supports me with whatever it is, and takes me out to breakfast, and understands me, and carries me from my mom to the nursery in the hospital and won’t show me to anyone because I am all his, and gives me all the love a girl needs from her daddy. He has defined me my whole life. I love him so much.

There are so many other things that have defined me but I can’t write about them all. These are just six of the really, really, really big things that have throughout my life. I can’t write about the countless people who have smiled at me or made me laugh or been an angel for the Lord for me, but know that I am grateful and that I love you all. And these aren’t the only big things either, there are just so many that I will probably have to write another post about them J but these are things that I have been thinking about lately, so there you go.